I am an only child. I vacillate back and forth as to whether I like being an only child or if I would enjoy being part of a larger family. I had many hours of being alone. Is that a good thing? I learned independence, organization, creativity, and self dependence. I knew how to entertain myself as a young person by going outside to shoot hoops, play “7 Up” with a ball against a wall, play with my own toys and do a little improvisation, or I just might clean out my closest. I always found something to do. Except for the companionship, I was okay.

As a teenager, I have to admit that being alone got more difficult for me. Fortunately, I had a very good friend who lived behind me just a short walk away around the woods of the 4 1/2 acres we owned. I also had a neighbor friend just a year older that I would visit. Life wasn’t totally alone. Teenagers need companionship. They need someone to talk to, listen to their problems, and also be the sounding board for them, as well. I do believe I had that in my friend, Ginny. We were very close as teenagers, and she even became my maid of honor in my wedding.

With my friend, Ginny, we would talk into the wee hours of the night. We would share secrets when we started to have boyfriends, we ate dinner at each other’s homes, had sleep overs, and I even went on one of their vacations with them to Canada. Other than when I was a young girl, Ginny was my closest friend in high school. She and her large family got me through my teenage years. Did her large family provide something for me that my small family did not? Hmmm!

My dad was the oldest of nine siblings. What I observed from his family made me feel glad that I was an only child. Many of his siblings would argue and carry on about things in his hometown in Kansas. We were in Delaware at the time, and I can remember how upset he would get with his brothers and sisters when they would argue. Dad wasn’t like that at all. He was calm, reassuring, and often very humorous. He would try to stay out of the arguments as best as he could, or he would try to give advice to them. That’s when I was glad I wasn’t part of a big family. Were they all like that? Obviously no, my dad was calm and collected and so were others of his siblings. The few made up for the rest. I still loved them very much, and now I am close to several of my cousins. We took a lesson.

My husband is one of three siblings, and I did enjoy holidays with his family. They seemed to get along, didn’t argue, and enjoyed each other’s company. I absolutely love my husband’s siblings. They get along although my husband says that as little tots there may have been some childish bickering. “She looked at me!” Well, he’s too close to me!” Those kinds of silly things. I thoroughly enjoy his total family, and they welcomed me into the family with sheer kindness.

When my mom and dad divorced, I became unglued. I was sixteen years old. I just couldn’t see the sense in it. My mom wasn’t an independent woman, and I couldn’t see her on her own. Somehow she managed, and my dad remarried several years later to a wonderful, loving woman. Like my dad, she came from a large family, as well. They were the closest family I had ever seen. I always said that if one sneezed another would be there to wipe her nose. They are incredibly close. I loved that family from the start!

I learned to never be sad being an only child when I was surrounded by all of these other families which helped to shape my life, give me an outlook on the chemistry of a family, and were instrumental in preparing me for my own. Indeed there are times when I wish I had a sibling or two to turn to in the time of need, but I’ve done alright just being part of other families. By the way, there’s often a reason why a child is an only child. My poor mom had six miscarriages. So, I’m immensely happy to be here to be with the people I have learned to love. I even call friends my family because I love them, and they are close to me.

Today reflect on your family. Only children are not as depressive, lonely, or dependent as some think. What size family do you have? How did you fare? Any tales of your family’s chemistry? Until then…. have a sensational Sunday, be safe, and I love you!