Just take a look around the typical suburbia neighborhood these days. There are very few cute picket fences or chest high hedges bordering the houses anymore. In fact, what you do see are fences that are six to eight feet high surrounding backyards shutting off everyone from their domain. Sure, there are plenty of homes with no fencing at all, but it is as though there were an invisible barrier between houses these days.

When I was just a kid moms and dads would chat with their fellow neighbors frequently. If you saw each other outside and about, you would stop and chat for awhile, maybe offer coffee, and take your time with your neighbor friend. People knew each other’s names, knew all the kids and their ages, borrowed tools, shared that sugar or flour, and always were kind and considerate to one another. At least it felt that way.

When I was just a kid, my dad built a boat in our backyard. This was the first boat appropriately named “Sandy I”. This was also before the years of HOAs and neighborhood rules and regulations. He did a nice job on his little runabout. He and our neighbor from across the street would go fishing together. Each would be in their own boats. I would go with my dad, and my neighbor would have his son, Robert, who was close to my age. We’d spend the day on the river, have a picnic, nap, fish, and enjoy our time as neighbor friends.

My mom was always having the neighbor ladies in for coffee and cake or pie. They would sit at the kitchen table where mom had fresh flowers, a lovely homemade pie, and they would talk for hours. I guess the kids were out playing because they certainly were enjoying themselves in the kitchen gossiping, chatting, and laughing time away.

In those days, we knew all the neighbors several houses away. Yes, we had fences and hedges. However, they were on the low side. You could look over them. You could talk to someone. Our house had a chain link fence in the backyard with a beautiful boxwood hedge along the front yard. The kids on the whole street would play together. We rode bikes down our steep lane, play ball, or find a multitude of games to entertain ourselves outside for the whole day. The only time you went inside was to eat or use the bathroom. Even then, you would hold it until you almost peed yourself.

My mother-in-law was the epitome of a good neighbor. She made it a point to know her neighbors. Once she did, you could expect her to invite them for dinners or luncheons, she would make baked goods to take to them, or she would visit just to talk. She loved people, and her kindness toward them was endless. Her home was always open to her neighbors.

We have been living in our current house for five years. I know the neighbor to the left and the neighbor to the right. I have never met one neighbor’s wife because she works primarily away from home. In our cul-de-sac, I know no one else except to wave hello. And I don’t like it! When we moved here I was expecting plates of brownies or cookies to be delivered to my front door. We got nothing. No one welcomed us. After about six months, I walked around on Halloween with my granddaughter just so I could introduce myself and say hello. Not many people were home.

I guess we’re just the old farts in the neighborhood. Retired. Some time on our schedule to be friendly. The rest are young whipper snappers. Still young professionals who work endless hours and don’t have time for visitors. We were like that once. Putting in the hours we did, and then having to come home to grade papers and such at night made us too exhausted to be neighborly. I’m sorry for that now.

I do miss my old neighborhood when it comes to neighborly people. Those folks would wave, holler to you, stop on the sidewalk for a moment, or even take a second to ask how things were going at work. You felt like they cared. We watched our two little neighbor boys go from infants to high school graduates. We saw dogs being walked daily, and we would stop to pet him or her as they were passing by. Now, I sadly watch a beautiful chocolate Labrador retriever being kept in by an invisible fence. I can’t even throw him a ball or rub his head.

So, be a good neighbor. It might catch on. As Thomas Jefferson said, “A good neighbor is a desirable thing.” Lower your hedge or picket fence.